hahahaha
I Struggle.
I’m struggling to believe I can overcome my weaknesses.
I can clearly see what’s in front of me that needs to be done.
Why can’t I change? Why can’t I go out and work on my weaknesses?
I know I have the potential to.
I know I can do so much more.
What’s in front of me shouldn’t be hard. But it is.
I look at my situation and wonder how did I let it get like this?
So much I want to do.
So much I want to achieve.
What is stopping me?
I know the answer- IS ME.
Why do I think that I don’t have what it takes?
Why is that a default position?
Am I afraid of hard work?
Am I afraid of reaching my potential?
I go through life struggling to put my heart, time and effort into things because I’m afraid I won’t be good enough to fulfill them. This is a strange concept to me? I know I have great potential. I have a God who is greater the my weaknesses, a girlfriend I Love and I think sometimes can be to supportive, 2 great families who support me through everything I go into and friends I can talk to. But still….. The same struggles grip me tight.
What can change? How can it change!? This lack of drive hurts. I feel I’m losing direction and purpose in life.
I love my God, my girlfriend, my family and friends. I love my Church and Youth Ministry. But why does everything feel lost. Why can’t I love myself?
I pour my heart out on paper for all to see, it feels good to let it go.
You may wonder why I don’t just open it all up to God and give all to Him.
The answer is that I just did.
